In my own journey, I have faced moments where holding on felt more painful than letting go. There were relationships that I poured energy into, hoping they would transform, or at the very least, respect the space I was trying to grow into. Over time, I noticed the patterns—dismissed feelings, inconsistent actions, and a lack of reciprocity. Letting go did not happen overnight, though. It took courage to realize that I deserved better and that holding on was costing me my peace. When I finally decided to walk away, it was not about closing a door out of resentment but out of a deep respect for myself. Each time I have made the decision to let go, I have felt both the weight of loss and the lightness of freedom, knowing I am creating space for relationships that honor who I am and who I am becoming.

I shared this because I want you to know that I realize it takes courage to put ourselves first. Sometimes, that means cutting ties with people who no longer honor our growth, values, or well-being. Life is a journey of growth. As we step into new phases, it is natural that not everyone can come along. When someone hands you the scissors, it is because they have made choices that show you—perhaps gently or perhaps boldly—that their season in your life may be over. Here is why cutting people off is not selfish but sometimes essential, and how you can do it with love, compassion, and clarity.

Recognizing When to Walk Away

People show us who they are by their actions, consistency, and respect for our boundaries. If someone repeatedly disregards your feelings, brings chaos, or does not support the life you are building, they are indirectly giving you the “scissors.” It is not about abandoning people at the first sign of trouble but recognizing patterns that take a toll on your mental and emotional health. Sometimes, we feel a nagging discomfort in certain relationships, but we ignore it. We want to give people “just one more chance.” It is our compassionate nature. However, after a while, those chances become lifelines we throw at our own expense.

The Power of Choosing Yourself

Walking away is not about blame. Rather, it is about self-respect. When you make the decision to cut someone off, you are choosing your own peace and growth. You are reclaiming the energy you once poured into trying to understand, accommodate, or save someone else. This choice may feel selfish, but there is beauty in letting go of what does not serve you. Life is too short to keep giving parts of ourselves to people who can not see or honor our value.

Letting Go with Grace

If you have decided to cut someone off, consider doing it with compassion. Maybe they will understand, maybe they won’t. You are not obligated to explain your boundaries to anyone. For some, a simple withdrawal is enough. For others, an honest conversation can provide closure. You do not have to slam the door. In fact, there are time when simply stepping back quietly speaks volumes. Letting go with grace is about respecting the time you did share, while still honoring the fact that you are moving forward.

Finding Peace in Moving On

Walking away from people who handed you the scissors does not mean there will not be pain or second-guessing. You may still care. You may even feel conflicted or worry that you have made the wrong choice. Give yourself grace.

Every goodbye frees up space for the relationships that fill your life with meaning, love, joy, and inspiration. Cutting ties can bring peace. It can result in making room for people who lift you higher, challenge you in healthy ways, and inspire your journey. I call these your personal cheerleaders. We all need them in our lives.

In the end, if you cut someone off, remember this one thing: you did so because they gave you the scissors.

Cutting appropriately,

Erika