Do you feel you are currently in your flow, or has life pulled you away from it? What is one bold step you can take this week to return to yourself?
Life has a funny way of carrying us down paths we never planned. Careers, family, loss, responsibilities. All of it can shift us away from who we once were or who we dreamed of becoming. One day, you wake up and realize you have been living on autopilot, performing a version of yourself instead of embodying the authentic you. If that resonates, you are not alone. More importantly, you do not have to stay there.
I call the journey back owning your flow.
What does it mean to own your flow?
To own your flow is to live with authenticity, confidence, and boldness in a way that honors both tradition and flair. For me, it looks like embracing the classic and the classy—but never without a pop of color, a swirl of pattern, or an unexpected twist that reflects me.
Owning your flow means carrying yourself with intention. The way you show up is how the world sees, respects, and values you. I often remind my children: you are your own walking brand. Every step, word, and gesture says something about who you are and how you see yourself. Flow is not, however, about fitting into someone else’s mold of “classy.” It is about weaving together your unique flavor—your quirks, passions, scars, and brilliance. These are the things that make you who you are.
How We Lose Our Flow
Life has a way of convincing us to trade authenticity for conformity.
- Work tells us to play small.
- Society hands us a box and dares us not to step outside of it.
- Circumstance—grief, illness, setbacks—can dim our boldness.
Over time, we adjust to being “acceptable,” “safe,” or “enough.” Before long, our true selves are tucked neatly behind what the world expects. However, authenticity does not disappear. It waits. It waits for courage, for space, for the moment you decide you are tired of dimming your own light.
Getting Back to Your Flow
If you have drifted, here is how to start your return:
- Pause and Reflect
Ask yourself: Who am I at my core, without the titles, roles, or expectations? What makes me feel alive, playful, and powerful? - Reclaim the Little Things
Start small. Add color to your wardrobe. Reintroduce a hobby. Revisit old dreams that you abandoned. Sometimes, flow begins with the smallest rebellion against monotony. - Set Boundaries Against Conformity
Own your “no.” Refuse to shrink to fit a space too small for your spirit. Flow requires room to move. - Lean into Boldness
Dare to mix the patterns, say the words, or make the move that scares you. Boldness breeds confidence, and confidence rebuilds flow. - Carry Yourself Like You Belong—Because You Do
Remember: the world sees you the way you present yourself. Stand tall. Speak with clarity. Live in color. The respect you seek will follow the energy you project.
The Joy on the Other Side
The truth is this: you will never reach your ultimate joy until you own your flow. Period. When you stop hiding behind conformity and start daring to live authentically, you step into a rhythm that feels natural, powerful, and liberating.
Owning your flow is not about perfection, though. That is not the goal you should aim for. Instead, it is about presence. It is about bringing YOU to the table, unapologetically, and knowing that the dish is better because your flavor is in the pot.
So, if life has carried you far from yourself, let today be the day you choose to embark on the journey back. I encourage you to own your flow. Your joy is waiting on the other side.
Coach Erika L Wilkins
Live With Joy With Coach Erika L. Wilkins 
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