This is not my usual blog. I am not here today with a feel-good pep talk, a cute life lesson, or a gentle nudge. This one is necessary because too many of us are trying to step into a new year with the same old heaviness, the same old habits, and the same old excuses. If nobody else is going to say it plainly, I will: transformation requires release. You cannot walk into a new chapter while clinging to everything that damaged you in the last one. This blog is here to help you make that shift before the calendar does.

December is not just the last page on the calendar. It is the “de-” month. De-clutter.
De-tox.
De-stress.
De-armor.
De-commit from what is draining the life out of you. De-everything in December so you do not drag the same mess into a brand-new year and then wonder why it feels like the same old life with a different planner.

Grab your journal, a pen, a warm glass of tea, and let us talk about it.

Why “De-” Before You “Do”

New Year’s energy has us ready to do everything: do more, do better, do big. But if you skip the de- work, all that “doing” is built on the same shaky foundation. You know what that looks like:

• New goals stacked on old grudges
• Fresh affirmations sitting on top of buried resentment
• A color-coded planner trying to hold together an unhealed heart

You already know what the Word says — you cannot pour new wine into old wineskins. The same goes for your life. You cannot step into a new season while dragging last season’s clutter. December is your divine invitation to clear the spiritual, mental, emotional, and practical junk so January is not hauling around dead weight you should have dropped.

1. De-Clutter: Clear the Space So the Vision Can Breathe

You think your brain is overwhelmed, but half of that fog is sitting in your closet, on your kitchen counter, and in your email inbox. This month:

• Clean one drawer, one shelf, or one corner at a time. No perfection. Just movement.
• Release the “someday” items that honestly belong in the trash or donation bin.
• Ask yourself: “If the next version of me walked into this room, would she feel at peace or attacked?”

Your environment should not argue with your spirit every time you walk in. Make room for the you that you are becoming, not the you that you are outgrowing.

2. De-Tox: Body, Mind, and Spirit

This is not about a fancy juice cleanse. This is about removing what is poisoning your peace. Ask yourself:

• What foods leave me exhausted and foggy?
• What conversations leave me anxious or angry?
• What accounts on social media leave me comparing and shrinking?

December Detox Ideas:

• Replace one daily habit that drains you with one that feeds you (scrolling → reading, late-night snacking → herbal tea, gossip → gratitude).
• Start a “mental detox” by limiting how much bad news and chaos you consume. You are allowed to protect your spirit.
• Spend just ten minutes a day in quiet – no phone, no noise, just you, your breath, and God. Let your nervous system come down from survival mode.

Your body and mind are not your enemy. They are the vehicle you need to actually live the life you keep journaling about. Treat them like it.

3. De-Stress: Stop Making Chaos a Personality Trait

Some of us have been in fight-or-flight so long we think it is a spiritual gift. Well, it is not. Stress will have you snapping at people you love. It will cause you to start losing sleep over what you cannot control, and calling it “just how I am,” not that. That is “just how I have been living.” There is a difference.

This December:

• Notice where you say “yes” with your mouth but “I really do not want to do this” with your spirit.
• Learn the power of “Not this time, but thank you for thinking of me.”
• Build in recovery time after big days or big events. You are not a machine.

De-stressing is not laziness. It is wisdom. A calm, regulated, rested you is far more powerful than a frantic, overbooked, burnt-out you.

4. De-Commit: Release What No Longer Fits the Assignment

Every role, every title, every relationship does not deserve a carry-on pass into your next season. Some of you are:

• On committees you should have left three years ago (Ouch!!!)
• In friendships that only function if you shrink
• In routines that do nothing but keep you tired and resentful

This month, do an honest audit:

• What am I still doing out of guilt, fear, or habit?
• Where do I feel dread instead of purpose?
• What did God tell me to release that I am still holding onto because I like being needed?

Give yourself permission to resign gracefully from anything that is not aligned with who you are becoming. You are not obligated to keep playing a role just because you know the lines.

5. De-Tach: Let Go of the Outcome You Are Trying to Control

December is also a time to de-tach from the fantasy of how you thought things “should” look by now. Maybe:

• The relationship did not work out.
• The career path took a sharp left turn.
• The plan you had for your family, your finances, or your health looks nothing like your original script.

Detachment does not mean you stop caring. It means you stop worshiping your plan. You trade control for trust.

Ask yourself:

• “Where am I still mad that life did not follow my script?”
• “Where am I holding onto disappointment so tightly that I cannot see new possibilities?”

Lay that at God’s feet and tell the truth: “I am still hurt and I am still scared, but I am willing to see this differently.” That willingness opens doors that control could never touch.

6. De-Fend Less: Put Down the Armor

Some of us are walking fortresses. We know how to clap back and shut down. It is easy for us to build walls quicker than we build connections.

By the way, December is a good time to:

• Stop rehearsing arguments in your head that never happen
• Stop trying to prove to people that you are worthy when the right people can already see it
• Stop using anger, sarcasm, or busyness to hide how deeply you are actually hurting

Instead ask yourself:

• “What would it look like if I was not always bracing for impact?”
• “Who has actually earned the right to hear my real heart, and why am I still acting like I am alone?”

You do not have to walk into the new year in full armor, swinging at shadows. You can walk in wise, guarded where necessary, but still open to love, joy, and new support.

7. De-Value Less: Stop Discounting Yourself

December is not just about what you need to release, but also about what you need to re-value – and that includes you. Ways you might be de-valuing yourself:

• Underpricing your gifts
• Overexplaining your boundaries
• Staying where you are tolerated instead of where you are respected
• Laughing along when people make jokes that actually hurt

This month:

• Decide on a new baseline for how you will allow people to talk to you and about you.
• Stop calling it “humility” when it is actually hiding.
• Let your accomplishments be factual, not whispered. You did the work. Own it.

You are not entering the new year on clearance. The price just went up.

8. De-Lay: Stop Pushing Your Own Life to the Back Burner

December will have you:

• Shopping for everyone else
• Planning for everyone else
• Cooking, hosting, arranging, fixing everyone else’s emotional and mental mess

Then, by January 2nd, you are exhausted and somehow already behind on your own goals. Not this time, though. This December:

• Do not wait for January 1st to start drinking more water, praying more intentionally, journaling, or moving your body. Start now, imperfectly.
• Put your own vision time on the calendar like you would a doctor’s appointment. Non-negotiable.
• Choose one thing you want to feel proud of on December 31st and move toward it daily, even in tiny steps.

Stop delaying your own life while you help everyone else live theirs.

Your December De-Plan (Simple and Realistic)

Here is a simple framework to work with:

Week 1 – De-Clutter & De-Tox

• Clear one space
• Remove one habit that drains you and replace it with one that feeds you

Week 2 – De-Stress & De-Commit

• Say “no” to at least one thing that does not align with your peace
• Schedule one true rest block just for you

Week 3 – De-Tach & De-Fend Less

• Journal about one area where you are still clinging to the old script
• Have one honest conversation with yourself or someone you trust about how you really feel

Week 4 – De-Value Less & De-Lay Less

• Set one boundary and honor it
• Take one bold step toward something your future self will thank you for

Small shifts. Daily. Intentionally. That is how you walk into the new year lighter and clearer.

Final Word: Do Not Drag Old Chains Into a New Chapter

De-everything in December is not about being harsh with yourself. It is about being honest with yourself.

You deserve:

• Rooms that match your peace
• Relationships that match your growth
• Habits that match your calling
• A pace that matches your actual humanity, not people’s demands

So no, you are not doing “too much” by cleaning house – mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically – before the new year. You are doing what wise, healed, growing adults do.

You are saying:

“I refuse to drag the same chains into a year that God meant to be a fresh chapter.”

Let December be your de- month so January can be your do- month:
Do walk lighter.
Do love yourself harder.
Do honor your calling.
Do step into the new year like you actually believe it is a gift.

Now… what are you de-ing first?