There is a special kind of sting that comes from being passed over. You know the one—when you did the work, carried the load, stayed late, smiled anyway, prayed through it, and still watched someone else’s name get called. It makes you sit there like, “Lord… seriously? Them?”

And for a long time, I assumed that every “no,” every “not yet,” every “we went with another candidate”, was a neon sign pointing at my flaws.
I must not be good enough. Smart enough. Talented enough. Connected enough. Something enough.

Here is the beautiful plot twist I wish someone had handed me decades ago:

Not being picked is not the same as not being chosen.

Picked is about people.
Chosen is about purpose.

Picked is about timing.
Chosen is about alignment.

Picked is about who they wanted in that moment.
Chosen is about who God needs you to be in the next season.

Let me tell you the truth I had to grow into: Some of the places I cried over not getting were too small for the woman I was becoming. I thought I was losing, but babyyy… I was dodging bullets dressed as blessings.

Those “passes” were protection.
Those “rejections” were redirections.
Those “overlookings” were opportunities to outgrow what would have stunted me.

Because here is the thing—being picked is about fitting into someone else’s puzzle. Being chosen is about being positioned for what is yours.

Chosen means:

• You did not get the promotion… but you kept your peace.
• You were not invited… but you avoided someone else’s chaos.
• You were not selected… but you walked into a room later where you were honored, not tolerated.
• The relationship did not work… but you were saved from carrying someone else’s brokenness on your back.

Chosen means you are not just in the room—you are aligned with the room.

Chosen means something better was preparing while you were panicking.
Chosen means the door that matters will open and your name will not sound like an accident—it will sound like confirmation.

So yes, imagine not being picked…
Imagine the silence after the selection…
Imagine the disappointment in your chest…

Now imagine that weeks later, months later, years later—
God turns around and says, “Daughter, I was saving you for this.”

You were not picked. But you were chosen, which hits differently when you realize you were preserved, not passed over.

Walk with your head up. Some of your most significant wins are wrapped in the “no’s” you thought would break you. They were never losses—they were lifelines pulling you into your real assignment.

And trust me… Being chosen feels a whole lot sweeter when you finally see why you were never meant to be picked.

Let me tell you the truth—you were never built to fit inside anybody’s little box anyway.
Boxes are for containment.
Boxes are for control.
Boxes are for people who play small.

But chosen? Chosen is for the ones who outgrow every space that tries to shrink them.

So if you have ever felt overlooked, underestimated, or mislabeled, lean in close:
You were not passed over. You were being positioned.
You are not too much. You are too big for the box.

And speaking of that…

My upcoming book, Too Big For The Box, digs even deeper into this exact truth. It is a call for every woman who has ever been told to quiet down, shrink back, or “stay in her place.” It is for the ones who know they were created for more—more expansion, more purpose, more room to breathe and be.

This blog is just the appetizer. If this message hits home, trust me—
the book is going to speak to every part of you that refuses to be contained.

Stay tuned. Too Big For The Box is coming soon…and it is your reminder that you were never meant to fit. Actually, you were meant to soar.

Soar with me,

Coach Erika