A Word from the Elders You Did Not Know You Still Needed

There is a phrase that lives rent-free in the culture — a phrase you could hear whispered in kitchens, murmured during phone calls, mumbled while passing the TV, or spoken into the air when something unbelievable happened.

“Got to be more careful.”

If you grew up Black, I guarantee you have heard this at least a thousand times — probably from an older woman holding a wooden spoon, flipping a skillet, or fanning herself after something went sideways. By the way, it was never said loudly. It was said with that soft, half-laughing, half-warning voice like, “Lord, these people finna make me lose it.”

Here is the funny thing: as much as it sounded like a throwaway phrase, it was actually a life lesson disguised as commentary.

And friend, the older you get, the more you realize… Grandma was preaching!

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They Were Not Just Talking — They Were Testifying

When Grandma said, “Got to be more careful,” she was not stating the obvious. She was acknowledging the foolishness of the moment and telling you, “Don’t let this be you.”

Somebody tripped on their own two feet?
“Got to be more careful.”

Somebody trusted the wrong person?
“Got to be more careful.”

Somebody got caught up in mess that was avoidable from a mile away?
“Got to be more careful.”

Somebody ignored the red flags flapping in their face?
“Got to be more careful.”

Translation?
Life has consequences. You are smart — act like it.
Use your eyes.
Use your spirit.
Use your common sense.
Stop rushing.
Stop ignoring the warning signs.
Stop pretending you did not see what you saw.

That one phrase was a whole sermon wrapped in five words.

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Life Will Always Give You a Heads-Up — If You Pay Attention

One of the greatest gifts our elders had was spiritual discernment. They could look at a situation and tell you how it would play out before the first act was even over. But we? We love to run headfirst into “maybe it’ll change.”

Our grandmothers knew better.

“Got to be more careful” meant:

• Stop letting the same people play in your face.
• Stop taking shortcuts you know lead to disaster.
• Stop ignoring your intuition.
• Stop moving without thinking.
• Stop assuming every opportunity is a good one.
• Stop letting your heart drive when your mind has the map.

Careful does not mean fearful. Careful means aware. Thoughtful. Wise. Grounded.

And if you are honest, most of the trouble you have gotten into in life did not require deep analysis. You just ignored the little voice that said, Baby… don’t do that.

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Wisdom Does Not Whisper for Long

Here is the grown-folk truth: Life will always tell you when something is off — but if you ignore the whisper, it will eventually yell.

Being careful is not about paranoia. It is about intention.

About slowing down long enough to see the truth.
About listening to your inner warning system.
About evaluating people’s patterns instead of trusting their words.
About learning the difference between an opportunity and a trap.
About saving yourself unnecessary pain because you refused to be reckless with your own well-being.

As Grandma would say,
“You cannot keep doing any old thing and expect life to treat you kindly.”

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Being Careful Is Not Caution — It Is Stewardship

Your life is precious.
Your peace is valuable.
Your spirit deserves protection.

Being “careful” is not being timid — it is being responsible with your future. It is being your own guardian instead of leaving the job to chance.

It is:

• Checking the contract before you sign your name.
• Checking the person’s heart before you trust them with yours.
• Checking your motives before you say yes to things that drain you.
• Checking the road before you jump into a journey you are not ready for.

Your grandmother may not have had a degree in psychology, theology, or leadership — but she had an intuition that could humble the sharpest mind.

That phrase? “Got to be more careful.” That was her way of saying, “Baby… don’t let this world catch you slipping.”

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A Final Word: The Elders Warned Us for a Reason

We live in fast times. Everything is quick, loud, and impulsive.

But wisdom?
Wisdom is slow.
Wisdom pays attention.
Wisdom steps back before stepping in.
Wisdom remembers the lessons of those who came before us.

So the next time something feels off…
The next time someone shows you who they are…
The next time you are tempted to ignore the signs…
The next time you catch yourself rushing because you want something now…

Hear that voice — the warm, weary, unbothered voice of an older Black woman who has seen it all and then some: “Got to be more careful.”

And for once, listen to her. Your future will thank you.

Coach Erika