The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, laughter, and togetherness. It’s the season of sparkling lights, festive music, and family gatherings. But beneath the glitter and glow, for many, this time of year carries a heaviness that is hard to shake. Others are grieving while some are celebrating. Others are wondering how they will make ends meet while some are shopping for gifts. For some, the end of the year is not a time of celebration but survival.

It is important to remember that not everyone is holly and jolly during the holidays.

For those who have lost loved ones, the holidays can be an aching reminder of their absence. An empty chair at the dinner table, a stocking that will not be filled, or a tradition that feels incomplete—all can turn what once was a season of joy into a season of sorrow. Grief does not take a holiday. For many, it feels magnified during this time of year.

If you know someone grieving, your presence and compassion can be the best gift. Offer a listening ear or simply let them know it is okay to feel what they are feeling. Let them guide the way, whether they want to reminisce about their loved one or prefer a distraction.

The pressure to buy gifts, host lavish dinners, and keep up with the “holiday magic” can be overwhelming for those already struggling financially. The season often amplifies the disparity between those who have plenty and those who have little.

Consider offering low-cost or free alternatives instead of assuming everyone can join in the gift exchanges or pricey celebrations. A potluck, a shared experience, or even a heartfelt card can mean so much more than an expensive present.

Many people are simply burnt out as the year winds down. Between work obligations, family responsibilities, and the pressure to show up with a smile, the holidays can feel more like a marathon than a celebration. You can add to this the mental health struggles that many quietly face year-round. So, it is easy to see why the holidays might not feel so merry.

Grant grace to those who might not have the energy to attend every event or keep up with the holiday cheer. If you are the one feeling burnt out, know that it is okay to say no. Protect your peace and prioritize what truly matters to you.

The holiday season should be a season for compassion. We should lead with kindness. Be mindful of the fact that everyone is fighting a battle you can not see. Instead of insisting on holiday cheer, create space for authenticity:

• Ask instead of assume. If you notice someone withdrawing, check in with them. A simple “How are you really doing?” can open the door to connection.
• Give without expecting. Whether it is your time, a kind word, or a thoughtful gesture, give freely without expecting anything in return.
• Practice patience. The stressed-out cashier, the overwhelmed parent, the quiet coworker—all might be doing the best they can. A little patience goes a long way.

If you are struggling this holiday season, know that you are not alone. Reach out to trusted friends. Connect or reconnect with family. Contact professionals who can support you. Sometimes the best gift you can give yourself is permission to feel your feelings and honor where you are.

For those who find the holidays challenging, remember: the season does not have to look a certain way. It is okay to create new traditions or skip them altogether. Your well-being matters, and your version of the holidays is valid, whether filled with festivities or quiet reflection.

Let us make this season about what truly matters: love, compassion, and understanding. Because at the end of the day, the greatest gift we can give one another is grace.

Coach Erika