Have you ever paused to reflect on how you treat the people in your life? It is a hard truth to confront, but too often, we pour our energy into the wrong people. These are the people who do not value, reciprocate, or respect us. While, we neglect the ones who are loyal, kind, and always in our corner.

It is a common human flaw. We chase after people who challenge our sense of worth because we hope to prove we are enough for them. We bend over backward for those who would not cross the street for us. All the while, the people who love us unconditionally are left wondering why they seem invisible to us.

Why Do We Do This?

• Familiarity Breeds Complacency: The people who are always there—family, friends, partners—can sometimes fade into the background. We assume they will always be there. Consequently, we stop showing them the appreciation they deserve.
• Seeking Validation: The wrong people often play into our insecurities. We want their approval, thinking if we earn it, we will feel whole. Spoiler alert: It never works.
• Fear of Rejection: We overextend ourselves for people who are indifferent because we are afraid to lose them, even if they do not deserve a place in our lives.

The Consequences of Misplaced Priorities

When we treat the wrong people right, we drain ourselves emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically. It is a never-ending cycle of giving without receiving which can lead to burnout and resentment. Meanwhile, when we treat the right people wrong, we risk losing them altogether. Their patience has limits. Over time, they may walk away and not out of anger, but out of self-preservation.

How to Break the Cycle

• Assess Your Relationships: Take inventory of who pours into you versus who drains you. Who shows up for you without you asking? These are your people.
• Express Gratitude: Do not assume people know how much you care. Tell them. Show them. Small acts of kindness and acknowledgment can strengthen bonds.
• Set Boundaries: Stop overextending yourself for people who repeatedly show you they do not deserve your energy. Learn to walk away.
• Prioritize Reciprocity: Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect. The require significant effort and care. Pour into people who pour into you.

Shifting Perspective

What would the world be like if we love the people who love us back just as fiercely as we chase the ones who do not? How much more fulfilling would our lives be? How much deeper would our relationships go?

Life is too short to spend it investing in the wrong people. We must learn to recognize the right ones. They are the ones who stay, support, and genuinely care. Treat them like the treasures they are. In fact, start today. Call the friend who always checks on you. Hug your partner who holds you down through thick and thin. Thank your parents, siblings, or mentors for their unwavering support. Decide to let go of anyone who consistently shows you that you are not a priority.

Because here is the truth: The people who are meant for you will never make you question your worth. Always treat them right and value them. They are golden.

Choose wisely,

Coach Erika