Life has a way of throwing some sharp curveballs. There is no warning, no time to brace yourself. Things just happen. So, while I cannot control everything that comes my way, what I have learned is that I do have control over one thing: how I respond. I am sure you have heard it before, and trust me, it is one of those clichés that sounds good in theory but is much harder to live out in reality. The truth is, mastering my reactions has been a game-changer, not just for my mental health but for my overall peace and wellbeing.

I can think of so many instances where I wanted to lash out, scream, or break down when life didn’t go as planned. I can even recount a situation just today. Whether it is a personal disappointment, a setback in my career, or someone doing something hurtful, the urge to react in anger or frustration is often my first instinct. However years after navigating the ups and downs of life, I have learned that how I choose to respond directly impacts my peace.

When things happen that are out of our control, our natural reaction is to feel helpless. Here this: we are not helpless. We are empowered. This is where the choice comes in. I can either let the situation run me, dictating my emotions and actions. Better yet, I can pause, breathe, and decide how I want to respond. It is a conscious decision, and it is one that requires practice.

I have found when I respond from a place of calm and clarity, not only am I preserving my peace, but I am also teaching myself that no situation—no matter how challenging—has the power to disrupt the harmony I have worked so hard to create in my life. This does not mean I ignore my emotions or pretend like nothing bothers me. Trust me, I still have my moments. But I now understand that reacting out of pure emotion only fuels the negativity and leaves me feeling worse in the long run.

Let’s be real. This is necessary. We live in a world that often feels like it is spiraling out of control. So many things demand our energy, our time, and our emotional bandwidth. If I allow myself to be pulled in every direction by life’s chaos, I will burn out…quickly. Admittedly, I have been there. I have felt the weariness of letting every external factor drain me until I had nothing left to give. That’s not a life I want to live anymore.

By controlling my response, I am reclaiming my power. I am saying, “Yes, this is happening, and it is not ideal, but I refuse to let it steal my peace.” It is a practice of self-preservation. It is how I protect my mental and emotional wellbeing. It is how I ensure that I am not just reacting to life but living it on my own terms.

The beauty of this approach is that it teaches me resilience. I may not control the storm, but I do control how I weather it. By the way, you never control the storm. That is God’s job.) With each storm I face, I get a little stronger, a little more grounded in the knowledge that my peace is mine to protect.

So, when life gets chaotic and things seem like they are spinning out of control, I want you to remember something very important. You cannot control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you respond. That is more powerful than you might think.

Staying in my lane,

Erika