There was a time when I believed that giving—of my time, energy, and resources—was my highest calling. I saw it as my purpose, my responsibility even, to be the one others could rely on, to always be there, to pour into the lives of those around me. But over the years, I have learned a valuable lesson: when you are a giver, you have to know your limits. Why? Because the takers don’t have any.

Being a giver comes with a certain pride. It feels good to be needed, to be the person everyone turns to when the are in need. However, somewhere along the way, I realized that this constant giving had taken a toll on me. I was drained—physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. It wasn’t until I found myself feeling empty, resentful, and overwhelmed that I began to question my approach. Where were the boundaries? When had I allowed myself to become the bottomless well for others, while neglecting my own need to replenish?

The truth is, giving without boundaries is unsustainable. It leaves you depleted, and the people who are constantly taking don’t always recognize or care that you have reached your limits. They will continue to ask, expect, and take—until you stop them. That is exactly why knowing your limits is essential. It is not selfish. It is not unkind. It is an act of self-preservation. Without it, you risk your peace and wellbeing. Ultimately, you cannot give from an empty cup.

I have come to understand that setting boundaries is not just about protecting myself from the takers in my life. It is about valuing myself enough to ensure I am also taken care of. Boundaries do not make you a bad person or any less of a giver. They allow you to give from a place of fullness and joy rather than resentment or obligation.

This suggestion—knowing your limits—is absolutely necessary. It is the key to preserving your peace, maintaining your wellbeing, and ensuring that your generosity doesn’t become a burden. It is about shifting the narrative from “I must give to be worthy” to “I am worthy whether I give or not.”

When you honor your own needs, you become a healthier, happier version of yourself. In turn, you can show up for others in a more authentic, sustainable way.

Erika