People who have harmed you will often create false stories around you, your experiences, and your character. It is an act of self-preservation for them—an attempt to deflect their guilt and shame. For a long time, I wrestled with this. I couldn’t understand why someone who hurt me would feel the need to paint me as the villain in their story. But the truth is, in order for them to be honest about who I am, they would have to be honest about what they’ve done. We both know, that kind of accountability can be terrifying.

I have come to realize that this behavior is rooted in their inability to confront their own actions. Acknowledging the truth means they would have to face the pain they’ve caused. It is easier for them to twist the narrative rather than to own up to the harm they inflicted.

I used to internalize these false stories. I would replay moments in my head, wondering if I could have done something differently, if maybe I did deserve the treatment I received. But the more I reflected on it, the more I understood that these fabrications were never about me. They were always about their unwillingness to face themselves.

This understanding has been crucial for the preservation of my peace and well-being. It was necessary for me to detach myself from their narrative and reclaim my own truth. So, let me tell you, when someone decides to spread lies or distort your character, it is not your job to convince them otherwise. The truth will always be the truth, whether they choose to acknowledge it or not. What is most important is that you know who you are and stay grounded in that reality.

Why is this important? I am glad you asked. Carrying the burden of their falsehoods is exhausting. Living under the weight of their projections can distort how you see yourself. In the end, it’s detrimental to your mental and emotional health. Preserving your peace means understanding that their stories are not yours to carry. You don’t need to explain yourself, nor do you need to chase down every lie. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is stand firm in your truth and let the rest fall away.

There is a great power in detaching from what others say about you, especially when you know it is not rooted in honesty. The peace that comes from letting go of their narrative is liberating. It allows you to stop engaging with people who are committed to misunderstanding you and frees you to move forward in your life with clarity and self-assurance.

By acknowledging that these false stories are their defense mechanisms and not reflections of who you are, you learn to prioritize your well-being over their need to justify their actions. For me, I choose peace. In that peace, I have found the strength to continue being authentically me, unshaken by the falsehoods that others try to impose.

In the end, holding on to your truth, no matter how others try to rewrite it, is an act of self-love. That love…that peace is far too valuable to sacrifice for the sake of someone else’s inability to face themselves.

Protect your peace,

Erika