Life has a way of shaping us, molding us through experiences, challenges, and revelations that often catch us off guard. For me, becoming a life mastery coach wasn’t something that I dreamed of—it was the result of my own personal journey, a path that led me to a deeper understanding of what it means to truly live, to heal, and to empower others. In that capacity, others turn to me for insight and for guidance on how to navigate life’s tough spots. It is an honor, but also a responsibility that I take seriously.

Over time, I have come across individuals whose manner of communication is more of a challenge than it needs to be—people who unknowingly build walls instead of bridges and who dominate conversations rather than participate in them. One such individual I have had to deal with recently, let’s call her Sherry, has forced me to dig deep into my reserves of patience and compassion, as her behavior mirrors a part of my past that I have long healed from.

Sherry is bright, undeniably talented, but her inability to read social cues or recognize the impact of her aggressive communication style makes it difficult for people to connect with her. She has this need to be the “smartest person in the room,” which often leaves others disengaged or even frustrated. While I have noticed her struggling to form genuine bonds, others around her have simply chosen to sidestep the issue altogether. They don’t correct her or address the problem. Rather, they reduce interactions and find it easier to work around her than with her.

This avoidance is not rooted in fear—it is in apathy. They don’t want to invest the energy in fixing something they feel is not their responsibility. Yet, as someone who is all about fostering growth and connection, I can not sit on the sidelines. My role, my calling, requires me to address these uncomfortable truths, especially when it impacts them personally and professionally as well as the collective well-being of the those around them.

If I am honest, I was personally triggered by Sherry’s behavior. Growing up in a dysfunctional home environment where listening was rare, and being heard was even rarer, I have had my share of experiences with people who communicate in ways that feel more like combat than connection. It took years of growth, self-reflection, and learning to understand that not everyone is capable of empathetic communication. Some just have not been taught, while others, like Sherry, may not even realize their actions are hurting others.

But here’s where the real work begins—for all of us.

Compassion and Accountability.

It is easy to write someone like Sherry off as “difficult” or “impossible.” It is much harder to recognize that she may simply be unaware of the impact of her actions. She may not have the emotional tools to connect on a deeper level, and without guidance. So, how can we expect her to change?

As much as it feels like it is not our responsibility to help them, I have come to believe compassion means not only recognizing someone’s flaws but also offering a hand to help them rise above them. When they hold positions of leadership, the stakes are even higher because their behavior affects more than just their own experience. It impacts the entire team. In Sherry’s case, her lack of self-awareness isn’t just a “her” problem. It is a team problem. As leaders, it is up to us to find ways to address that without making her feel diminished, but also without letting her off the hook.

So, how do we deal with someone like Sherry? How do we effectively communicate with individuals who struggle to listen and connect? Here are a few strategies I have found helpful:

1. Start with Empathy, but Be Direct

Approaching Sherry with empathy doesn’t mean excusing her behavior—it means leading with an open heart while holding firm boundaries. Acknowledge her intelligence and contributions, but also make it clear that her approach is alienating others. “Sherry, I see how hard you’re working and how much you care, but I have noticed that others are struggling to connect with you. Could we talk about how we can all work better together?”

2. Reflect and Reframe

Often, people like Sherry are not aware of how they come across. They need someone to reflect their behavior back to them in a way that does not feel like an attack but more like an observation. “When you jump in during conversations, it sometimes makes others feel like they aren’t being heard. I wonder if giving them a little more space to share their thoughts might help the team function better.”

3. Encourage Growth Without Judgment

Let her know that growth is part of everyone’s journey, even for those in leadership roles. “None of us are finished products. There’s always room to grow, and I’d love to support you in strengthening how you connect with others.”

4. Set Boundaries for Yourself

While compassion is essential, it is equally important to protect your own peace. Dealing with individuals like Sherry can be emotionally exhausting, especially if you have personal triggers tied to their behavior. It is okay to set boundaries that allow you to engage without absorbing the emotional weight of the situation.

5. Model the Behavior You Want to See

People often respond better to examples than to lectures. By being an empathetic, clear communicator yourself, you can model the kind of behavior you’d like to see from Sherry. Lead by example, showing her how active listening and thoughtful communication can foster trust and collaboration.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Offer Constructive Feedback

Sherry’s behavior is impacting the team, and that’s not something that should be ignored. Compassion isn’t about avoidance. It’s about addressing the issue in a way that’s constructive. “Sherry, I think you’re incredibly talented, but I’ve noticed that the way conversations go when you’re involved sometimes leads to people shutting down. Have you noticed that? How do you think we can change that dynamic?”

Ultimately, my goal is to leave people in a better position than when I found them. Not every conversation will be easy, and not every individual will be receptive. But that does not mean we do not try. My past experiences have taught me that no one grows without some discomfort. Sometimes, the most compassionate thing you can do for someone is to help them see where they need to grow.

So, if you find yourself dealing with a “Sherry” in your life, remember that while it’s easy to ignore or sidestep the issue, true leadership calls for something greater. True leadership calls for compassion, for accountability, and for the courage to help those around us become better—even when they don’t realize they need it.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with difficult personalities, especially in professional settings, can be draining, but it does not have to leave you depleted. Approach with compassion. Stay firm in your boundaries. Always, always lead with the intention to elevate. We all have a role to play in helping each other grow. Let us embrace it.