Hey there, my beautiful sisters:

Let’s take a moment together. Yes, right now. Just breathe. Feel the breath filling your body, grounding you, and bringing you back to the present. I asked you to do this grounding exercise because I want to prepare us for a serious conversation. I want to share something deeply personal, something that many of us carry but rarely speak about: the sting of past trauma and how it can sneak into our social interactions, making us feel personally attacked. I realize that this conversation is not easy to engage in by some. It has taken me years to get here myself.

Let me start by saying, “I have been there.” I have felt that sting, and if I’m being honest, it still creeps up on me from time to time. Those moments when an innocent comment feels like a dagger, when a simple situation spirals into a storm of emotions. It’s as if my past is playing out all over again, and it leaves me feeling raw, exposed, and misunderstood. I know how overwhelming it can be, but I also know personally that there is a way through it.

Understanding Our Triggers

First, let’s understand what’s happening. A trigger is anything that takes us back to a place of pain—whether it’s a word, a smell, a situation, or even a look. It is like our minds and bodies are suddenly transported to that painful moment, and wea re reliving it all over again. That’s powerful, and it can be overwhelming.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

When we’re triggered, our reactions are heightened. We become hypervigilant, always on the lookout for danger, even when none exists. This hyperawareness can make it hard to relax and trust others. We might pull back, avoid certain people or places, or lash out defensively, all in an attempt to protect ourselves. But in doing so, we often end up feeling isolated and alone.

Navigating Social Interactions

So, how do we navigate these social interactions when our past traumas are ever-present?

1. Self-Awareness: Begin with self-awareness, dear sister. Take time to understand your triggers. What sets you off? What takes you back to that place of hurt? Journaling can be a powerful tool here. Write it down. See it on paper. Then, begin to recognize the patterns.
2. Grounding Techniques: When you feel those intense emotions rising, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present moment. Deep breathing, mindfulness, focusing on the physical sensations around you—these practices can help anchor you and provide a sense of calm amidst the storm.
3. Boundaries: Setting boundaries is crucial. It is okay to step away from conversations or situations that feel too overwhelming. It is okay to protect your peace. Communicate your needs to those around you. The people who truly care for you will understand and respect your boundaries.
4. Therapeutic Support: There’s no shame in seeking help. Therapy can be a safe space to unpack your trauma and develop coping strategies. Finding the right support can make a world of difference.
5. Supportive Networks: Surround yourself with others who understand, who lift you up, and who offer a safe space to be vulnerable. Share your journey with trusted friends or join support groups where you can find solidarity and strength in shared experiences.

Moving Towards Healing

I am certain you have heard the statement: healing is a journey, not a destination. It is a process that takes time, patience, and a lot of self-love. Embrace the journey, dear sister. Know that it is okay to have setbacks, to feel overwhelmed, and to ask for help. The sting of past trauma does not have to define your present or your future. With compassion and resilience, you can navigate these complexities and find a place of peace and empowerment.

I want you to know that joy and peace are within your reach. Despite the past, despite the triggers, you can live a life filled with love, light, and even joy. It starts with acknowledging your pain, understanding your triggers, and taking active steps towards healing. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step forward is a victory.

Remember, you are not alone. We are in this together. We are stronger together. So, take a deep breath, hold your head high, and keep moving forward. You are worthy of healing, of love, and of joy. Walk it out one step at a time.

With love and light,

Erika