Dear Beautiful Sisters:

In our journey through life, we often encounter a myriad of individuals, each bringing their own energy and essence into our world. For many of us, especially those who struggle with low self-esteem, the allure of flashy, confident people can be both captivating and intimidating. It’s easy to be drawn to their sparkle, to the way they seem to effortlessly command attention and admiration. But, my dear sisters, we must ask ourselves, why do we sometimes feel smaller in their presence? Why do we seek validation from those who, intentionally or not, make us feel less than who we are?

The Illusion of Glamour

In our society, there is a pervasive belief that association with the confident and the flamboyant will somehow elevate our own sense of worth. We see the glitz, the glamour, the unapologetic self-assuredness, and we think, “If only I could be more like them, perhaps I’d feel better about myself.” But what we often overlook is that this external validation is fleeting, and the comparison it fosters can be damaging.

When we align ourselves with individuals who thrive on displaying their successes and attributes, we may feel a temporary boost in our own self-esteem. Yet, this association can also highlight our own perceived shortcomings, creating a cycle of dependency and self-doubt. We begin to measure our value by their standards, forgetting that our worth is intrinsic and independent of external comparison.

The Cycle of Seeking Approval

For many black women, the quest for validation is deeply rooted in our history and the societal pressures we face. We are often told, explicitly or implicitly, that we must achieve, conform, or assimilate to be deemed worthy. This external pressure can lead us to seek approval from those who seem to embody the very ideals we’ve been conditioned to admire.

But, my dear sisters, let us not confuse the illusion of approval with genuine self-worth. Hanging onto the coattails of those who make us feel smaller will never lead us to true empowerment. Instead, it reinforces the narrative that we must look outside ourselves to find value, diminishing our innate power and beauty.

Embracing Our Own Light

It’s time to shift our perspective and reclaim our self-worth. We must recognize that true confidence and self-esteem are not about comparison or external validation. They are about embracing our unique gifts, celebrating our strengths, and acknowledging our journey. When we see the flashy people around us, let us not feel intimidated or less than. Instead, let us be inspired to uncover and shine our own light.

We must also surround ourselves with those who uplift us, who see our potential and encourage our growth. It’s crucial to build a community of support that affirms our worth rather than diminishes it. When we stand in our own power, we not only elevate ourselves but also inspire those around us to do the same.

The Path to Self-Worth

Dear sisters, the path to self-worth is not always easy, but it is necessary. It requires us to look inward, to confront our insecurities, and to challenge the narratives that have kept us feeling small. It means letting go of the need for external approval and trusting in our own value.

We must also practice self-compassion and forgiveness. We are human, and it’s okay to feel vulnerable or uncertain at times. The key is to acknowledge these feelings without judgment and to remind ourselves that we are worthy just as we are. We don’t need to dim our light to make others feel brighter. Our brilliance is enough.

In Closing

Let us commit to nurturing our self-esteem from within, to finding strength in our own journey, and to celebrating the beauty and power that is uniquely ours. We are deserving of love, respect, and admiration, not because of who we know or the company we keep, but because of who we are. Remember, dear sisters, you are more than enough, just as you are.

Your sister,

Erika